Cheeky Quotes

Sunday, 5 February 2017

On being weak

Stand up for yourself, before it becomes a problem.
A problem not just for you , but also for the people who love you ; they wouldn't know what to feel about you at a time. Or what to feel about how you feel about something. Your shifting moods and self doubt will not let it remain possible for long.

It is possible to be angry at a person for being too weak, too volatile. It is a different kind of agony which is is a product of indecision,  shame and helplessness.  Because no matter how much you love someone , you cannot think on their behalf. You can't tell someone to stop being weak the way you tell them to stop being a liar , a cheater or a slacker. We don't  see being weak as a character flaw because we appreciate the many sweet modifications of it. But the truth is , nothing consumes our energy like loving a weak person. Not even hating a strong one. Nothing comes close to that paradox of love and anger.

Friday, 27 January 2017

On being a daddy's princess.

Girls are criticized for putting themselves out there as 'daddy's princesses'. Which is obviously, meant to divert attention towards their intrinsic worth. Though almost  everyone wants validation and that sort of attention. Some people do it in more subtle ways , they do it all the same.
I would take this opportunity to ask the ones who criticize it , which is basically the male population of this country.  You guys have basically prescribed to a lifestyle that is Institutionalisation of the act of being daddy's and mommy's princes. Talk about unhealthy attachments, Everything in your life is usually  decided by others. Even 30 and married , you probably live with your folks and seek your mum's permission to go out. Who is the helpless baby boy here ? And who is being an adult by leaving family behind to move in with strangers ?  Obviously there are daddy's princesses. That's they reminding you that there is a tug, a pull at their backs, a safety net to fall back on because that is where they derive their self worth. Because sadly , society has decided that no two individuals can keep a relationship on their own! AND Because sometimes in being mama's boys , you do tend to forget that the girl you are living with has no more binding to your folks than you do to hers. You do tend to walk all over her or watch her be walked over ! In the best case scenario of a living together as a large family, You make them succumb to a life where getting along with people is a result of expectation in stead of free will. Forced relationships come at a cost , first an opportunity to be know one another genuinely is lost. Second, your spirit is chipped away and made hollow with each act of pretense.
So  Obviously , they will live with you, they will love you- Society doesnt leave them an option -but they will remain daddy's princess. This persona is their armor! An impeccable imagery of unconditional love! They flaunt their loved and adored status because their identities are in danger all their life. That's also why they want little tokens of appreciation from you. 
But when you are in an unchallenged superior place , ridicule becomes easy. Still , I don't envy you your audacity.  I would be a daddy's princess ten times over if the other option was being like you.

Wednesday, 25 January 2017

Children are beautiful without any effort. Their faces symmetrical , not yet changed by habits that will alter the features slowly but surely , their hair , whether curly or straight retain a character of their own, their skin has a glow that is the envy of many girls in their prime.
As they grow up , they start changing. Environmental influences , radiation , sleeping patterns , state of nourishment , different things seem to have as mighty an influence on the appearance as DNA has. The wave of change doesn't stop at the outside. We , as children , were transparent. Our happiness wasn't subsided by any etiquette , our sorrow was a call for others to comfort us , our jealousy when someone else's birthday cake was cut , was there for all to see. If we could only see our needs, we were vocal about them. We didnt pretend otherwise.We were self centered unabashedly. From reddening of the cheeks to the tantrums thrown , we dealt with things that happened to us with more honesty than now.

We have remained selfish but what we do now is worse than what we did before.We have somehow learnt to disown all those emotions that make us look vulnerable, except kindness which makes us look vulnerable in a good light. The reason is our obsession with grandiosity.  If we called that nagging hurt jealousy, it would position the person we were jealous of at a superior place. So we learn to hide our truest emotions behind a facade that would enable a favorable view of us in front of the world. We like to pretend that we are not self centered, and we are better than that.In lying to ourselves  , we suspect others of the same dishonesty.We suspect everyone to have a motive , after the slightest provocation.  We stop believing in anything wonderful that ever happens to us.
World is a very competitive place and instead of accepting it we condemn it, though we secretly only want to be better than others. An average human spends most of his /her life between folds of this duality. These are truly , the shackles of one's own creation.

Saturday, 21 January 2017

On aging.

Brace yourself to pass on the torch of youth, and opportunity to the younger ones. Get ready to become irrelevant. Accept the undeniable edge youth has over old age.
Remember , the flow of love, attraction and attention. Everything , is downwards. Remember how parents' compromises for their children are born out of their very will. And how children's compromises for parents, even to their own dismay, feel like sacrifices,at cost of their freedom.
The teenage girls wearing lip gloss and worrying about their appearance incessantly, the gaze that follows to the end of one's sight is theirs to enjoy. They are bound to make mistakes, but the thrill of making those , is theirs. They are bound to feel the high of youth, to glow in the light of people's attention and desire. It's their time. And no matter how irresistible you had been once, youth trumps old age effortlessly. Every. Time.
As you age, prepare to recede in the grey areas of their lives, prepare yourself to be the one who wonders why the younger ones didn't call. They would be the ones to whom it never occurred, who can complain about the 'weight of expectations'. Time passes like sand flows from an open palm . There is going to be a shift of paradigm , the torch will be theirs. Yours will be a flame that is flickering. Some of you will satisfy yourselves with the 'growth' of your offspring, but I cannot imagine myself to be able to feel that its a compensation. I don't think any affection can win over this sense of rivalry. But I have to prepare. As i age.

Sunday, 15 January 2017

Do people get used to it ? The life in a hospital, The smell of the disinfectant, the paper work ,  the mechanical feel of the transactions with pharmacy ? do they believe that some magic pills will put a stop to the disease that is advancing it's hold on a loved one ?
I have been on both ends of the doctor - patient routine. It's obvious why there is an emphasis on ethics, and empathy during our training  because the divide between perspectives is guaranteed. As sure as anything. We look upto a doctor with a mix of something that is beyond gratitude, it is hope. It is closest thing to sacred that I have seen in human interactions.
As a doctor I know , and I admit that the art of medicine is formula based. That it's not upto us. That the burden we are trusted with is too great , yet it is an honor.  And honor is a concept I am naturally allergic to.  Militaries wreaking havoc upon innocent civilians ascribe it to honor , the tales of brutal warriors are told in the shade of honor,  in Pakistan there are even more maddening and gut wrenching concepts of honor.
Knowing that honor is not and should not be an uncontested concept. I believe  that my wish , the burning urge , the itch to help patients out, to take their vitals , to counsel them, to help them out, to administer their drugs , sitting as an attendant in Gynae opd of a private hospital during one of the rare breaks from tedious work , has to be explained by something which is above and beyond the give and take practicality of life.

Sunday, 1 January 2017

On 2017

The people who say New year is just another date.  Yes. And you are just mass consisting of atoms, abundantly carbon,  that hold together the cells which come together in trillions to make your body function. And this mass will disintegrate within a limited and fairly predictable period by the body's own enzymes and as a specie you are basically destined to doom.
And life looks pointless and today it is possible to know what the most brilliant mind in the world knows and wonder what else. And that what else is a shout out to the oblivion because it is possible to stand at the cusp of everything you have felt or known and wonder what more there is to it.

And amidst all that chaos and stupendous mystery that life continues to be, and however elusive the nature of happiness is at a point , it is reasonable to become comfortably numb.

In the absence of other indicators , it is ok for happiness, harmless happiness to be a gauge of what we should or should not do.  You could do something because 'why not'. Instead of not doing it looking for a why .

I would like to be in a party now ! Happy new Year.